God Knows That I am not Dying but I Bleed Now
by monkiimax
Summary: Haru has always been quiet but no one really knows the reason of it. What if Rin was about to find out? What happens when you find out that the person you care the most is living in fear and pain? Warnings inside


**_Title: God Knows That I am not Dying but Bleed Now_**

**_Summary: Haru has always been quiet but no one really knows the reason of it. What if Rin was about to find out? What happens when you find out that the person you care the most is living in fear and pain?_**

_** One-shot.**_

**_Rating: M_**

**_Warnings: Domestic violence against a minor_**

**_Gender: Angst/Hurt&Comfort_**

**_Chapters: 1/1_**

**_This story takes place before Rin moved to Australia so they are about 10 or 11 years old I think. _**

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I wish I could just run away from you, I wish I had the power to fight back. I wish I could be strong enough to put a stop to all of this, but I can´t. I can´t leave you, I can´t leave my family. I curl into a ball and wait for the screams to become less loud and angry. You are so upset and I am terrified of what you might do to me the moment you enter. Mommy is screaming, begging you to stop and to leave me alone. You don´t stop. You keep hitting the door with your fists and feet. I am able to hear the crack from the wood being slowly turn down.

"Open de fucking door!" you scream but I shake my head. I don´t want to open the door but I knew there is no other way out. So I just sit there and wait. The bathtub covers all my body but this is not a hiding place, this is a safe place, and more when it´s full with water. I hear your body hit once again and the door falls leaving you free entry to the bathroom. I can see out leader belt swinging back and forth from your left hand.

"Daddy…" I whimper but you just groan angrily. "I am sorry…"

It doesn´t matter. The belt smacks against my naked arm leaving and red and pounding mark.

.-.-.-.-.-.-

For the first time in a long time I am glad it is winter and I can cover my bruised body with a jacket. I am thankful you never leave any bruise on my face or upper neck that could lead to uncomfortable questions. I sit on my usual spot next to the window and wait for the class to begin even though I am sure I will pay no attention to the teacher or the subject. I just want to enjoy the silence.

"Haru!" he screams making me jump on my seat. I feel his warm and strong arms around my neck pressing my back against his. I bit my lip trying to hide my hiss of pain. "I have something to tell you! Yesterday, after school, my dad took me to go fishing, and I was able to catch an enormous fish! I swear it Haru, it was almost as big as my dog and so heavy my dad had to help me get it out. He was so proud and…" I see him sit down in front of me and as he keeps his tale I can´t help to frown annoyed. Every word he says is about his amazing, wonderful and loving dad. I see him stop his story and stares at me worried. "Is everything okay?" asks quite concerned. I snap back to reality and I realize I can´t feel angry with him or jealous about him and his family. It isn´t not his fault.

I shake my head and I can feel his eyes reading me. I wait a couple of seconds, waiting for him to ask something but suddenly the teacher arrives and he has to turn his body and attention to the class. I sigh relieved.

.-.-.-.-

I am at the changing room with my swimming suit between my fingers. I have my jacket and jeans still on, which is odd considering there is a pool inside the same building I am right now. I shouldn´t have come, it was an awful idea. If they see the bruises they are going to ask questions which I will have to answer. I don´t want that because; one, I am a terrible liar and two, I don´t have the heart to tell Makoto, Nagisa and Rin about my dad…Rin…

"Haru!" I hear the usual scream behind my back but I still turn to face the young boy with red hair smiling at me. I can´t manage to smile back. He is already on his suit so I don´t understand what is he doing on the dressing room and not inside the pool or stretching out with the rest of the team. "Nagisa and Makoto are waiting for you to arrive so we can make some relays."

I through the swim suit back into my bag. "I am going home."

He stares at me with clear worry painted on his face. "Are you feeling sick?"

Again, I am not comfortable with lies. "No, I just don´t feel like swimming today."

Rin runs towards me and puts a hand on my forehead.

"You have to be because the normal Haruka would never leave the opportunity to jump into a pool full with water."

I look down ashamed. Rin is right, I want to swim. I need to swim, to go under the water where terrene time, sound and pain are just illusions. I feel Rin´s hand leaving my forehead and I turn to see him again.

"Can you keep a secret?" I ask almost in a whisper. He nods immediately and takes a step closer to me. I take a deep breath. "Just, don´t freak out." He nods again so I start undressing.

I take off my jacket revealing my short sleeves shirt, now he is able to see my arms and the purple and green bruises that covered them. He frowns but I give him no chance to saw a word because I take the shirt off without saying anything. Now I can hear him gasp in surprise and disgust. I know my torso full of scratches and belt marks are filthy compared with his soft and perfect pale skin.

"Who?" he asks.

I don´t want to lie to Rin so I just go honest. "My dad, last night."

He looks at me confused. "Your dad? Why?"

"I got a bad grade on last week test, I showed it to him yesterday."

He sits down on the bench in the middle of the locker room and I follow him. We stay in silence for a couple of seconds because silent tears start to run down his cheeks.

"Why are you crying?"

He cleans his tears with his hand and bites his lower lip. I know he is trying to keep calm but he is an emotional boy. I know that and that is what I like about him. That is what I admire of him.

"It is not fair." he sighs. "He can´t, he shouldn´t hurt you."

I blink surprised, is he really crying because of me?

"Don´t cry." I almost beg him. "It´s okay, I am used to it."

He turns back at me, obviously angry at me. No, at what I said. "No, it is not okay. He is your dad, dads are supposed to teach you and love you. They take care of you and protect you…" before he can finish his sentence the sobs mute his voice. The only thing that it passes through my mind is to hug him. I surround him with my arms slowly. When he feels my arms he automatically hugs me back still crying silently. I can feel his grip is not as tight as he usually hugs us, this time he is careful, like if he is afraid of hurting me.

"We…" he starts talking out of the sudden. "I mean, you could stay with me tonight. My mom is going to make her famous lemon mousse and Kou wouldn´t mind lending you her bed."

We break the embrace and I stare at the floor. "I can´t, my dad is not going to let me."

Rin nods still with some tears on his eyes.

"Have you told anyone? You could tell the teacher or the coach."

"I can´t." I answer plainly. "And you can´t tell anyone either, you promised."

He turns away and I can see some new tears covering his enormous eyes.

"I want to take back what I promised."

"But you can´t."

"In that case I want you to promise something." now he is the one asking me something so I can´t help to agree.

"If he ever tries to…you know…hit you again, you will call me."

I think about it for a moment before nodding slowly.

"You have to say it." he demands.

"I promise."

He manages to smile and I feel a soft blush appearing on my cheeks and the phantom of a smile is drawn over my lips.

That night, after I locked myself inside my bedroom with the phone on my left hand my dad trying to break my door too, I try to remember Rin´s number. I dialed it and wait for him to answer.

"Hello?" he answers and I can´t help to sigh relieved. My hand is shaking and so the rest of my body that is anticipating the pain that it´s about to come.

"Rin…" my voice sounds like if it is about to break into sobbing. He immediately understands what I am trying to say but can´t manage to get the words out of my throat.

"I will be there in 10 minutes."

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_**I hope you liked it! Please send me your reviews and opinions**_


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